I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
