You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
