I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
