Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
