god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
