No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
