My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
