I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
