Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
