Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
