I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
