just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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