Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
