Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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