Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
