Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
