White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
