Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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