I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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