He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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