yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
