I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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