I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
