Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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