Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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