The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
