she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
