Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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