ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
