She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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