I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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