thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
