I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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