I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
