He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
