sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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