i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
