Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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