We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk is a universal language darling
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
