I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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