Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
