Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
