Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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