I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
