woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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