the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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