You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
