Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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