Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
