so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
