he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
