It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
MIDGETS
????
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
