Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
