The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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